Location: Devon & Blakely
Gmark's take: Not Living the Change

OK, this one is a gimme. I know I'm not living the change. But if I started out with something healthy, what would be the fun of that? The whole point is to improve myself, so I might as well begin with a meal that can only lead to improvement. On the plus side, they tell me that a tuna melt can indeed be healthy [0]... guess I should have ordered one of those.

Here are the melting points [1] of various elements:

• Gold: 1948° F
• Oxygen: -361° F
• Tuna: Appx 450° F for 5 minutes

Also, note the Miss Vickie's [2] potato chips. From the packaging I can only assume that it comes from some small, family-owned maker of chips, with a French heritage (freedom chips [3]!). I'm guessing that means it can't be too bad... what's that you say? A product of the Frito-Lay [4] Corporation? I've been punk'd by the world's largest maker of snack foods!