By Carly Milne

Like most women, I have body image issues. I’ve been fat, I’ve been thin, and now resting comfortably in a happy medium, I still find myself locked in battle between my psyche and what I see in the pages of magazines. Realistically, I know I’ll never be the supposedly coveted size zero — and I’m not even sure I want to be. Yet, every time I finish flipping through an issue of Harper’s Bazaar — or even US Weekly — I find myself questioning the reflection I see in the mirror. And to confuse things further, when I encounter the rare media personality or magazine model whose body more closely resembles my own, I’m even more critical in my judgment.

Of course, I know I’m not alone in these issues. According to the Dove Campaign For Beauty, only 2 percent of women worldwide consider themselves beautiful, and 81 percent of women in the U.S. believe the media sets an unrealistic standard of beauty most women couldn’t ever achieve. But what about when the media — and the beauty and fashion industries that swirl around it — make strides to bridge that gap?

News of the ban on rail-thin models in Milan made headlines around the world, and many women applauded it. Reality television stepped the controversy up a notch, with Tyra Banks’ popular show America’s Next Top Model welcoming plus-sized contestants into the fold. Unabashedly curvy Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson graced the cover of Vogue, while Glamour magazine routinely depicts a variety of women’s bodies. And yet, I can’t help but wonder: is this really what America wants — or is ready — to see? In a day and age when Jennifer Lopez’s behind is considered fat, and a size-8 “plus-sized,” when the same tabloid that speaks out in praise of normal sized women in the media crows over a slim starlet’s 15-pound weight gain, how can we be expected to achieve a unified ultimate goal?

“We have a very conflicted relationship with our own bodies, so it’s no wonder we have a conflicted relationship with media images,” says self-esteem expert Jessica Weiner. “We’re brainwashed by the amalgam of images we’ve seen since we were impressionable, so when we see average-sized bodies, we’re not conditioned to respond to that image as being a beautiful, cultural norm. It’s not as common for us to feel inclusive — we’re still exclusive.”

Weiner — who battled her own self-esteem issues, as chronicled in her eating disorder memoir, A Very Hungry Girl — has spent the last 15 years discussing these topics with women and mothers worldwide. As global ambassador for the Dove Self Esteem Fund and resident self-esteem expert for The Tyra Banks Show, Weiner launched a survey on her website designed to help format an open letter to the beauty and fashion industries, in an effort to change the landscape. But even Weiner has doubts about turning everything around, saying, “Everyone in the survey says they want to see ‘real’ models in magazines, and my first thought is, ‘Really? And if you did, would you read it?’”