It's funny you should bring this up.  A therapist once told me that each family has its own dance.  And when one person decides to move another way, it throws the whole dance sequence off.  Your family will ofcourse find it difficult to deal with a different you and will also find in uncomfortable.  If it makes your life happy and healthier, than they will have to learn the new dance and how they fit into it.

Exactly how do we know when we are in perfect balance, and even if there is such a state of being? I know that a lot of people think that I am calm because I am just calm and cool in every situation thrown at me. But really, me on the inside is screaming trying no to get frustrated. (My Dad) Otherwise, everything is going really well and its been a pretty smooth ride, so far…  

Vicki, you said that every family has their own dance; I understand where you are coming from. I think I know why I don’t flow well with my father, is because I have been living on my own for a while, then I decided to move back in with my father for my best interest. I guess I am just on a different dance than he is?

Here I thought I was somewhat in balance with my life but my recent diagnosis of an ulcer has upset that thinking. I did know that I was working too many hours but thought the rewards were offsetting the stress, guess that wasn't the case. If we truly look at our lives we might be able to stop kidding ourselves that everything is fine. I am now going to start taking more "Me" time and stop working so much.

I hear what you are saying about the family dance. I am no longer as close to my sister and mom as I used to be because they have remained in their sick lives and I have tried hard, through therapy and healthier living techniques, to live a saner healthier life. I do miss the relationships but I don't miss the craziness. Maybe someday they will figure out there is no balance in their lives and look for guidance.

It is really hard to try and change the steps.  We are so programmed to go along with it and it feels so comfortable to us.  I make an effort now to really think ahead of how things are going to pan out before talking with my mother and sister.  If things are getting out of hand, I simply say that this is not good for me and I have to hang up now.  Sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't.  It's not so easy to cut out the people we love-even if it is not healthy for us.  Take care of your ulcer and yourself please.

Today I got a voice mail from my Brother and his wife. She had to make a trip to Canada and he is having to pull double duty with work. Both their grown daughters are in panic mode. One is a pregnant school teacher and the other …. she something. From the way the all talk they are doing the La Tarantella  "Dance of Death". Here I am working two nights in a row, flipping to days mid week. It's way the Rat Race is run. I just gotten where I do each day as it comes, handle everything the best way I know how, and ask for help in those things that I don't handle well. For years I ran the race, and now I have slowed down to a  walk. Sometimes I stop look around and go a different way. My kids are starting to slow down too. Calm on the outside, and working for calm on the in side. Finding out the dance party I grew up with is not the only dance in town.   I am working on having happy feet.

I wanted to mention that A LOT of people use that page:

http://www.infogatherer.com/extras.html

They seem to log in to it nearly every day! Some even do download it.
It is a page of VERY EFFICIENT metaphors that ease up ANY hard days, be it at work or at home. It works FAST. No need to buy books, go to seminars or speak to someone regularly. How good is that?

Merci

Pascal

Chef Angela-Chanel

Has anyone read the book 52 Simple Steps to Natural Health? by

I can relate to so many of the comments in this thread. My family continues to live out the script that has been written for us by our ancestors generations ago, thus we keep repeating the same harmful mistakes. Most of my family does not recognize that. I am learning to recognize that script and am working on rewriting the script as it relates to me and my future generations. Some of my family members have not been receptive to hearing more about this, others find it too difficult to deal with. I love my family and I am proud of who we are but I want better - I want more - for myself and my future children. I prefer my balanced life to the chaotic life that I use to live and that many of my family members still live in. Along the way I have lost a few friends who weren't ready for me to change but all in all I'm better for it:)