Relationships 101

Relationships 101

Posted by madamerebellion on May 22, 2007 - 4:40pm.

I just submitted my answer to the poll, What could make you happier, and I couldn't help but notice that the majority of the participants feel that they need more love in their lives.

I was surprised... entirely. I usually have such a hard time when it comes to dating. Mainly because I feel I am too young to commit to another person, even if it's just dating, there's some sort of commitment that is required from both parties.

Additionally I always seem to find defects in potential partners and just immediately disregard them as potential dates and end up keeping them as friends. I might be too picky, or maybe it's something else.

Sometimes I do get the feeling that I might never overcome this and I see my uncles who are terribly afraid of commitment and can't help but wonder if I will end up like that. Maybe I've just been unlucky and haven't found someone that interests me enough.

I know the idea of it all is just silly, because I am way too young and really don't have time for that in my life right now.

What do you guys think? Is it unhealthy to avoid relationships or just dating? And is love an essential component to our overall happiness?

I've been wondering too much about this. Advice is greatly appreciated (more like needed). :)

not necessarily a lover

by dancingqueen on May 22, 2007 - 7:59pm

We had a forum discussion on something close to the same thing about having healthy relationships in your life. I would say that yes, having love does lead to a happier and healthier life. I don't know if that needs to be a "lover". I don't know how young you are, but when you meet the right person, you will know it. I just knew when I met my husband. He made me feel safe and secure and still does. I am a very lucky girl.

I'm glad youve found someone nice.

by madamerebellion on May 23, 2007 - 1:00pm

Oh I automatically assumed that it was romance that people were referring too since it is something that I've not yet included in my life.

Luckily though I have a great network of caring and supportive friends and loving siblings and family. That department is well supplied, I receive plenty love and support from those around me.

What's funny though is that I love watching romantic movies and have always thought how nice it would be to experience the kind of love that is portrayed in those fictional movies. But I always get discouraged to even attempt to fall in love in real life.

Thanks for your kind words though. And what is this discussion you are talking about? I would love to read up on it. :)

-Green Day.

Wait...

by Babealou on May 23, 2007 - 7:21am

Give yourself time to grow. Don't jump into a relationship with someone if your not ready, becuase in the end, you'll just end up hurting the other person and yourself. I agree with dancingqueen, when the right person comes along, you will know it. And you won't pay that much attention to their flaws, you may even love their flaws.

My personal opinion... young people shouldn't be in serious relationships. Go to school, travel, and have fun. You'll have plenty of time for the serious stuff later.

Best wishes!

Thanks so much.

by madamerebellion on May 23, 2007 - 1:11pm

Thanks for the comment. I agree I shouldn't worry about this, I'm way too young. It just scares me somewhat when I see all of my colleagues in love and some even getting engaged.

Maybe some day I will find that, when I am ready, you are right.

I was just wondering if that type of love is something you need in your life? Is it an essential component for your overall happiness? I feel fine without it, I was just wondering if anyone had any articles or opinions about this.

Take care,

-Lily.

be open

by Vicki_R on May 23, 2007 - 1:25pm

If you want this type of love than you will find it eventually. It is something that makes life fuller, for me at least. I look at my children that my husband and I made and we think how empty our life would be without them. They give us meaning and it starts with him. Give it time and be open.

agreed.

by viva_nova on May 24, 2007 - 1:52pm

Yes, it's important to keep an open mind. It's good to wait for love to come to you with an open mind of course, but sometimes I feel that when people look for it too much, they just can't seem to find it.

timing

by Harley on May 24, 2007 - 2:48pm

I have a friend who kept waiting for the perfect man. Many came and went and the last I heard at 43, she was still single. Timing is a big part of it, but being unrealistic doesn't help either. I was lucky in love and found my perfect guy. I just happened and I realize I didn't need to keep looking. Keep the faith.

more open in the summer

by Vicki_R on May 31, 2007 - 11:32am

I have found that people are more open to meeting other people in the summer. Maybe it't the heat or the sun or just more alcohol, but they seem able to open up a bit more and be themselves. Don't be shy this summer and go to a place where other young people are.

Thanks

by madamerebellion on June 7, 2007 - 3:33pm

Thanks for the advice Vicki, maybe I should go out a little more. I don't drink alcohol... but I do drink coffee (I'm trying to quit), maybe I should visit a coffeehouse here and there, meet people etc. I think it is time to open up to dating, it could help me out a little. :) Thanks for the support!

flirty skirt

by Vicki_R on June 7, 2007 - 3:38pm

We must be on site at the same time today. Go out and enjoy yourself. Put a flirty skirt on and order a cappucino. Good luck, keep me posted.