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The Green Room: Gwyneth's Yoga Lesson
Posted by Joshua W. Jackson on May 19, 2006 - 4:43pm.

Gwyneth Paltrow is scheduled to teach what is probably the most expensive yoga lesson ever taught. In an auction for Prince Charles’ charity, a fan paid $50,000.00 (no, we didn’t add three extra zeros…) for a private session with Gwyneth. "Someone has spent a great deal of money on it so I’m going to have to really come up with an excellent plan. Unfortunately, I can’t do it in the nude or anything to make it really exceptional…" Paltrow said. She went on to assure the bidder that she would do everything within her power to not make the lesson any more awkward than she just did.

Last night famed American yogis Sharon Gannon and David Life hosted a heck of a party for the opening of the brand-spanking new Jivamukti Yoga Center in Manhattan. The studio is sustainably designed and environmentally friendly. It’s also a beautiful space. Delicious food for the party was provided by celebrated vegan chef Matthew Kenney. Present were PETA cofounder and president Ingrid Newkirk, Sting and Trudie Styler representing The Rainforest Foundation, Robert Thurman, Dechen Thurman, Uma Thurman, and Russell Simmons. The Thurmans have been dedicated to Jivamukti for some time now, and it’s been reported that Simmons is a regular at the new studio. Julia Butterfly Hill also attended and gave a rousing speech in which she beseeched partygoers to re-imagine the world into a better place. "Imagine a world where our hearts are big enough to accept George W. Bush into them," she said. Yeah, imagine.

Jennifer Garner, who is scheduled to appear on The Late Show with David Letterman on Friday was seen earlier this week getting out of an SUV. Hey, Jen? For now on when you introduce yourself to environmentalists, you might want to use an alias.

This week global warming documentary An Inconvenient Truth had its Hollywood premiere. A green carpet was unrolled in place of the standard red, and a wide variety of stars graced it. Gold medalist snowboarder Shaun White, Garry Shandling, Sharon Stone, David Duchovny, and Larry David all attended. Incidentally, Exxon Mobil and their friends are unleashing two sixty-seconds TV spots that strike back against “global warming alarmism.” Exxon Mobil representatives reportedly tried to diffuse the impact of the star power by emphasizing that not a single penguin from March of the Penguins was at the event, although many arctic animals have taken to wearing sunglasses and drinking smoothies in order to combat rising temperatures.



<em>Anonymous</em>'s picture
Gwenyth or whatever
by Anonymous on May 18, 2006 - 2:46pm
For the gods' and all of our sakes - why, pray tell, would gwenyth or however itis spelled be allowed.....doing it nude to make it exceptional - these people are so wearisome and to think they've now "entered" the yoga world....and you all of course just jump on board.....why pander to all of this foolishness. It is near child abuse to encourage our children to worship at the altar of celebrity - shame on you!
<em>deluxe_sample</em>'s picture
Andre or whatever
by deluxe_sample on May 18, 2006 - 9:01pm
Dearest, So, i understand "the yoga world" is only for non famous people... I see... Thanks
<em>Anonymous</em>'s picture
come on
by Anonymous on May 19, 2006 - 6:08am
Andre, stop obsessing over your identity as a thinking person and think like a person
<em>Pleiadian</em>'s picture
agree with claire
by Pleiadian on May 19, 2006 - 9:37am
a thinking person is the worst
<em>gmark</em>'s picture
The Alter of Celebrity
by gmark on May 19, 2006 - 10:18am
But if we don't worship at the altar of celebrity, what fun will it be tearing them down? Am I right, people?
<em>405</em>'s picture
Man, you should come to LA and see for yourself
by 405 on May 19, 2006 - 9:43am
There is a pretty pathetic scene around the practice of yoga. for many, it's no longer about health - it's all about ego. and that's really sad...
<em>deluxe_sample</em>'s picture
I don't understand!!
by deluxe_sample on May 19, 2006 - 9:49am
If i'm famous and people like you write about the fact that i'm practicing yoga - does it make my practice less healthy? does it mean i'm all about ego? I really don't understand this attitude (though it's not the first time i hear it...)
<em>jjackson</em>'s picture
Not at all!
by jjackson on May 19, 2006 - 3:56pm
Famous people are people, too. And should do yoga for any reason they want! But they shouldn't assume others only want a lesson from them if the lesson is conducted sans clothing.
<em>gmark</em>'s picture
Garry Shandling? Larry David?
by gmark on May 19, 2006 - 10:22am
They're environmentalists? Aren't they a bit, you know, self-possessed to be worried about the planet?
<em>Anonymous</em>'s picture
aren't we all?
by Anonymous on May 19, 2006 - 4:42pm
aren't we all a little self-possessed which is why we turn to yoga for balance in our lives and to quiet our minds. It's not surprising at all that celebrities seek this path too. Don't diss them for trying to find balance.
<em>Anonymous</em>'s picture
gwenyth
by Anonymous on June 6, 2006 - 2:24pm
but what wasnt said here - is that gwenyth is a dedicated, consistent, and pretty advanced practitioner of ashtanga yoga who is definitely capable of teaching a GREAT private. she is more capable than many 'yoga teachers' who go through 'teacher training' programs, after practicing for a few short years, which is quite common. I applaud Gwenyth for her willingness to continually show up as a member of the Ashtanga Yoga community (check out her appearance in the documentary, Ashtanga in NY) If you have celebrity status, use it for good! and she does that. There's not much ego in that, as far as i can tell.
<em>Anonymous</em>'s picture
I'd rather take a yoga
by Anonymous on July 5, 2006 - 2:57pm
I'd rather take a yoga lesson from Larry David
<em>compiknews</em>'s picture
by compiknews (not verified) on May 16, 2008 - 6:47pm
sssss
<em>compiknews</em>'s picture
by compiknews (not verified) on May 16, 2008 - 6:48pm
isoptin
<em>compiknews</em>'s picture
by compiknews (not verified) on May 16, 2008 - 6:49pm
aaaa

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